The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize