I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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