that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
