just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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