maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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