Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
