Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
