Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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