Buhtt sex?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
