Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you didnt know i had herpes?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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