Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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