I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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