There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize