I could make wine with my vomit
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
