Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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