Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
