my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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