you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
