You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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