even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
