I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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