I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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