I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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