Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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