she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Also, beer. Big fan.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
