So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.