At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
