I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.