Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
