Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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