Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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