That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
