No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
not ubering you a puppy
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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