VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
