My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
