Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
