I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sober January is a disaster.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
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