Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
