..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We need to get me chipped asap
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
