Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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