She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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