Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
