hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
