but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There r osticjed everywhere
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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