i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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