i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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