i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
