I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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