Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
