please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
