Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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