it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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