College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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