Pappa wants mamma naked
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
