Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
