We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize