The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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