capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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