i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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