I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
