your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
