The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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