i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Enjoy the penises
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
