put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
