Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
