Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
